Am I Questioning My Current Involvement?

1. 1.When you have privately disagreed with a teaching or instruction in the past 12 months, what did you typically do?
   I voiced my disagreement openly and it was discussed without consequence.I voiced it carefully to one trusted person who agreed it was a fair concern.I kept it to myself because raising it would have created social difficulty.
2. 2.How do you feel when you read mainstream press coverage of your group?
   I read it with curiosity and can engage with the criticisms it raises.I find it uncomfortable but I read it anyway.I avoid reading it because it feels disloyal or I have been told it is biased.
3. 3.What is the felt cost — at gut level — of imagining yourself leaving the group within the next year?
   Manageable. Some grief but my sense of self would survive.Substantial. I would lose important relationships but I could rebuild.Catastrophic. I cannot imagine who I would be on the other side.
4. 4.When the leadership has made a public mistake or reversed a teaching, what was your inner experience?
   I noticed the change and updated my views accordingly.I assumed there was a deeper reason I didn't have access to.I felt protective of the leadership and uncomfortable with anyone who pointed out the mistake.
5. 5.What proportion of your weekly time is structured by group activities, group-related expectations, or group-mandated practice?
   <10% — the group is one part of a varied life.10–40% — significant but balanced with non-group commitments.>40% — most of my non-work waking hours are group-related.
6. 6.How comfortable are you spending sustained time with friends or family who have nothing to do with the group?
   Very comfortable — I have substantial non-group friendships.Somewhat comfortable but I notice I prefer group friendships.Uncomfortable; I find non-group people 'spiritually empty' or unsafe.
7. 7.When you have asked a sincere question and been given an answer that didn't actually address it, how have you typically responded?
   I have asked again, more directly, until I got a real answer or learned why one wasn't available.I have let it go but registered the deflection internally.I have concluded that my question was the problem and tried to want the right thing instead.
8. 8.What has happened to your financial autonomy since joining?
   Unchanged or improved.I give a substantial regular contribution but my finances are otherwise my own.Significant financial commitments to the group, escalating fees, or shared accounts I cannot independently access.
9. 9.How does the group treat ex-members who speak publicly about negative experiences?
   Treated with respect; their concerns are taken seriously.Treated as misinformed but not personally attacked.Treated as enemies, slanderers, or spiritually dangerous; we are warned not to read them.
10. 10.What happens, internally, when you imagine the leader being seriously wrong about something important?
    I can hold that as a normal possibility — leaders are human.It causes some discomfort but I can sit with it.It feels frightening, disloyal, or impossible to consider.
11. 11.How do you feel about the version of yourself you were before you joined?
    Continuous — I'm still the same person, with new commitments.Mostly continuous, but I see my pre-group self as less awake.I see my pre-group self as lost, broken, or in deep error — and the group as what saved me.
12. 12.When you imagine taking this quiz where someone in the group could see your answers, how does that feel?
    Fine. I would happily discuss it with them.Uncomfortable but doable.Frightening — I would not want them to see what I just answered.

Answer all 12 questions to see your result.