Is My Therapist Exploiting the Relationship?

1. 1.How does your practitioner describe their qualifications?
   Clearly licensed by a regulatory body that I can verify online.Licensed but the credential isn't easily verifiable without effort.'Trained' rather than licensed; the training is internal to a school I can't easily independently assess.Self-credentialed or claims access to esoteric knowledge that 'mainstream' clinicians lack.
2. 2.How does the practitioner handle session boundaries (time, availability, location)?
   Sessions start and end on time; out-of-session contact is for crises only.Mostly within bounds, occasional flexibility.Frequent out-of-session texts/calls; sessions running over without clear consent.I can be contacted at any hour; sessions blur into off-the-clock 'mentoring'.
3. 3.How does the practitioner respond when you discuss seeing another professional?
   Encourages it; offers to coordinate.Neutral but open.Subtle discouragement or framing of others as less effective.Active opposition; you sense you'd be 'leaving' if you saw someone else.
4. 4.How transparent is the financial structure?
   Set fee per session; sliding scale or insurance handled openly.Transparent but expensive.Tiered packages, pre-paid bundles, intro 'discovery' calls that pressure into commitment.Costs have escalated substantially; there are products, retreats, or 'inner-circle' tiers I'm encouraged to buy.
5. 5.How is your progress framed?
   Progress is tracked against goals you set together.Progress is discussed openly even when slow.Resistance, doubt, or wanting to slow down are framed as evidence you need more therapy.Any criticism of the practitioner is interpreted back as a transference issue or a wound to be processed.
6. 6.Has the practitioner shared significant personal information with you?
   Minimal self-disclosure; what little there is serves the therapy.Some self-disclosure; feels appropriate.Extensive self-disclosure that has begun to invert the relationship.I sometimes feel I'm holding their emotions / supporting them.
7. 7.Is there any romantic, sexual, or otherwise intimate dimension?
   None — the relationship is clearly professional.Warm professional intimacy; clearly bounded.I have noticed flirtation, lingering touch, or comments about my appearance.There has been sexual or romantic contact, or sustained pressure toward it.
8. 8.How does the practitioner talk about other clients (without naming them)?
   Confidentiality is rigorously maintained; minimal cross-reference.Occasional anonymised reference for teaching purposes; feels appropriate.Frequent anonymised references; sometimes thinly anonymised.I have heard identifying details about other clients; or I sense I'm a topic in their conversations with others.
9. 9.What happens if you try to take a break or pause therapy?
   Encouraged; planned pauses are routine.Discussed thoughtfully but not pressured.Met with concern that I'm 'avoiding the work'.Met with intense pushback; framed as backsliding or self-sabotage.
10. 10.When you imagine showing your last six sessions' notes to a different licensed clinician, how do you feel?
    Fine — I'd be curious what they thought.A little exposed but okay.Reluctant; I sense the relationship would 'look bad' to an outside professional.Frightened — I would not want a regulator or another clinician to see what's happening.

Answer all 10 questions to see your result.